Facing My Fears Hiking Borestone Mountain With My Son

It’s easy mom!  Fair warning this is a long post…

In my groups today I have been telling everyone to open up about their insecurities or something that they don’t like about themselves.  I guess it is time to take my own advice.  

I don’t like living my life afraid.  I have so many fears that I deal with but one of my biggest is being afraid of failing.  I don’t want my family and friends to see me as a failure and I don’t want to see myself as a failure either.

Yesterday, I conquered one fear of mine, well maybe not conquered but I certainly faced it.  I have missed spending time with my family and I have noticed that my son has been getting more distant.  I decided that I wanted to spend some time with him.  I took him and his friend to Borestone Mountain for a hike.  

I have never gone hiking before, or what I would consider truly hiking.  I have walked on a few trails, mostly flat, nothing too strenuous.  Yesterday was completely different.  I have always wanted to go hiking, but I have been so afraid of not being able to do it, of being out of shape, of having to turn back before I reached my destination.  When I talked to my son about going to Borestone, he told me that it was an easy hike and that it would be a lot of fun.  I’m not so sure about that anymore :)

At the beginning it was just us walking up an access road.  It wasn’t too bad but it was definitely steep in some places.  I could feel it in my quads and my butt and my breathing was definitely a struggle.  I made it to the visitor’s center after walking for 1.3 miles and thought, well, I guess that wasn’t too bad.  I can do this!

We started hiking to the summit, and if you have never hiked Borestone, just let me inform you, it isn’t easy. Or maybe it is if you are 17, in great shape or have gone hiking before.  For the first time hiker, who is 43, gaining most of her weight back, falling out of shape and struggling this wasn’t easy.  Some parts of this trail are very steep with slippery rocks to climb over, now imagine doing that one handed while holding onto your precious camera.  Get the picture?

Then Zach looked at me and said oh yeah, I forgot it gets harder from here.  Mom it’s easy! Mom it’s easy???  Obviously his version of easy and mine are different.  

The closer you get to the summit, the more vertical the climb is.  At one point, Zach and Hayley went ahead of me and I looked up to see this very steep rock wall that I was supposed to climb.  There are green arrows showing you the way but I missed the arrow and tried to go up the side that was more for advanced hikers.  I could see Zach and Hayley sitting above me waiting, and I reached for this small birch tree to help pull me up.  When I did I looked around, saw that I was almost above the tree top and froze.  Remember my fear of failure?  Well, it is topped only be my fear of heights, not by much though.  I looked up and said Ziggy I don’t think I can do this and started tearing up.  

This is the handrail I was supposed to use.  

Zach looked down, saw where I was and told me I was going the wrong way and he came to help.  Love that boy of mine. Then he showed me the way I was supposed to go.  I am not sure if that was any better though.  There was a thin metal bar with foot holds to help me up.  But he told me he had me and that I could do it.  I did.  I thought I had made it to the summit.  Imagine my surprise when Zach told me I still had a ways to climb. Then he reminded me that it is ok to get out of my comfort zone.  Comfort zone?  I was far from being comfortable.

The very thin white birch tree on the far left is where I tried to climb up.  

When I finally crawled to the top of the rock wall I just started to shake and cry. My son held me while I faced my fears…of heights and of failing.  I really didn’t think that I could go any further.  I was glued to the side of the mountain and really thought he would have to send in rescue to get me down.

Zachary told me that he was so proud of me for how far I had come and that he knew I could do it.  At that moment I realized that I could let my fear of failing win and not go any further, or I could take control and conquer it.  Don’t get me wrong I was petrified but I wanted to make my son proud of me and I wanted to say that I finished.

I kept climbing, I reached the top and what an amazing view.  I was in awe!  I was scared to death that I would fall, but I did not let my fears stop me.  So, on May 24th I climbed to the summit of Borestone Mountain. :)

As amazing as the view was, and as accomplished as I felt that day and still do, the best part was to finish what I started, to not let my fears control me.  I think that is one of the first times that I have truly been afraid and kept going.  

I DID NOT QUIT!

Do I still have a fear of failure or of heights?  Yes, they didn’t just magically disappear.  But the difference today is that now I know that I don’t have to let them control me, that I can win my battle with my fears.  That I can succeed when I choose to. 

I am stronger than my fears.   

This was something that I really needed to face and I am so thankful that I did not give up.  I am a stronger woman for it. ;)

                                                               ~ Darlene <3

Beachbody On Demand

If you looked at my music collection today, you would see anything from 80s rock, pop, country to classical.  Yes, I like all types. That's what makes MY world move.

I am like that with other things too.  I like all kinds of books, I like all kinds of movies.  I am very eclectic in my tastes.  Don't believe me?  Check out my house, or the clothes I wear.

It all depends on the mood that I am in.

Well, I am no different in my workouts. Some days I need Chalene to tell me that I'm not tired and to keep moving. Then there are days when Autumn telling me that I can do anything for a minute is exactly what I need to hear.  Believe it or not, some times I need a corny joke from Tony to get me moving.

Can you relate?

That is why I am so excited about Beachbody On Demand.  Not sure what that is?  What about netflix?  I'm sure you have heard of that. Well On Demand is like that!  You get unlimited access to stream some of Beachbody's popular workouts. And...ALL of the program guides, nutrition guides and calendars are included.  How great is that?

In the past 4 days, I have done a workout from P90X3, PiYo, Brazil Butt Lift and then I even tried Tai Cheng.  For someone like me, who likes a variety, this is an awesome solution.

I NEVER have to worry about buying another program that collects dust on my bookshelf.

I NEVER have to worry about finding the dvd and hoping that it isn't too scratched.
 
I NEVER have to worry about starting that workout and realizing that I just can't stand the trainer's voice.

On Demand was MADE for people just like ME!  What about you?

Follow me at:  DarLean Fitness

Because I'm Worth It! <3

21 Day Fix Baked Banana Almond Oatmeal

Baked Banana Almond Oatmeal

Cook Time:30 Min Total Time:30 Min

Ingredients

·         YELLOW - Steel Cut Oats

·         PURPLE - Banana

·         BLUE - Almond Slices

·         FREEBIE - Cinnamon

·         Optional: Drizzle Maple Syrup or Honey on top

Instructions

Cook steel cut oats per directions. I typically make a large batch on the weekends and cook for about 20-25 minutes on the stovetop. 

Refrigerate portions as needed.

 If you are eating it immediately, you can top it with banana slices, almond slices, a sprinkle of cinnamon (to your liking) and a little drizzle of natural sweetener (maple syrup or honey is best). 

Bake in your oven at 425 for 5 minutes or until caramelized and slightly crisp.

* If refrigerated bake at 425 for 10 minutes.

Notes

·         21 Day Fix Optional: You can use 1 tsp of honey as a natural sweetener when on the 21 Day Fix. Honey is NOT allowed on the 21 Day Fix Extreme.

Follow me at : DarLean Fitness

Beacause I'm Worth It! <3

World Health Day 2015

Good morning! Did you know that today is world health day? I didn't until about 20 minutes ago. Get ready for some tough love this Tuesday!

I get a personal development text every morning from Darren Hardy. I just wanted to share some of that with all of you. smile emoticon

Action for today:
It's simple you become what you eat. Scary thought huh?

What you put into your mouth becomes what fuels you. You are fueling the most precious and miraculous machine ever created - your body.

You wouldn't feed a championship racehorse chips, cake and soda but you have no issues with feeding yourself or even your family that stuff?

So, take action...
1-Go to your pantry.
2-Take out everything that has ingredients made by a guy in a lab.
3-Throw it away, don't give it to someone else! If it's not good for your body why would it be good for theirs?

Look at the photo below - from the farm to the plate. I realize that this is going to be very hard for some of us, I know it was hard for me this morning. I thought that I was eating clean and doing great. But...then I realized that I was buying all kinds of junk for my hubby and son. I wasn't eating it and it is their choice right? I have become an enabler. My son is 17, he eats what I buy, so if I am buying junk for him and healthy for me...well, I think you can see where I am going with this.

Share below something that you threw out.smile emoticon Mine was chips.
Have a great day!

Follow me at:  DarLean Fitness

Because I'm Worth It! <3

A Beacon of HOPE

Many people do not know that I was sexually abused  when I was a child, for almost 16 years by my biological father.  

Being abused as a child is something that you can't easily let go.  It stays with you as a scar for your entire life.  My entire life I have felt like I was not lovable, that I was not worthy.  I have quit at just about everything that I have ever tried. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, it was self sabotage.

I was not happy so I didn't want anyone else to be either.  I have spent most of my life trying to make people as miserable as I was.  Most of the time I succeeded, and 99% of the time it was my family who suffered.

If things were going well, I would make sure that they didn't.  I did everything in my power and believe me when I say I was great at it.

Today, I was telling another coach how Beach Body has changed me.  In 10 months, I have gone from the woman who wanted to destroy everyone and everything around her, to the woman who wanted to give everyone what she has and that is hope.

I became a coach for two reason.  One, was to help my family by becoming a better mom, wife and daughter.  I wanted to become financially fit at some point as well.  I wanted to make life better for my husband who has had to work so hard his entire life.  

The second reason was that I wanted to give other women hope.  I wanted them to know that they are worthy, that they can be loved.  That they can and should live life to the fullest, look towards the future and not condemn themselves to a life in the past.

I was surrounded by hatred and now I am surrounded by love, for myself and for others.  

I know this sounds so trivial, there is a lot more to this than I can possibly put down in one blog 

post and if you ever want to talk, let me know.

Anyhow, this wonderful coach that I spoke with today said something that just reached in and grabbed my heart.  She said she had heard this on a call last week, but it seemed to fit so well for me today.  

"My past did not just happen TO me, it happened FOR me, so that I can be a beacon for others."

To think that what happened to me might be turned and used for good just blows me away.   I truly do hope so, oh how I do hope.

Because I'm WORTH it! <3