My Journey

I am 42 years old and I am a mother of three kids, not so much kids now, Cody is 22, Kaitlyn is 20 and Zachary is 17. I have been married since 1991 to Scott Caron. He is my friend and the love of my life but it hasn't always been this way.

When I first met Scott, I was a sophomore in high school. We dated, fell in love and things went from there. In my Senior year of high school, I got pregnant, but I wasn't sure how I would raise a child. Without telling Scott, I had an abortion. For years, I hated myself for doing this. I couldn't forgive myself for something so horrible. I started hiding my emotions behind food and sarcasm.

I had always been sarcastic and in self destruct mode because of a bad past with my biological father. So this just escalated things even further.

Time marched on and I had 3 beautiful children who were completely spoiled by their mom. Their dad was an over the road truck driver, so needless to say I pretty much let the kids do whatever they wanted. We ate out a lot. My best friend became any kind of food. I didn't let on to people how much I was hurting inside. After all, I was married with three kids, shouldn't I be happy?

Years went by, my waistline grew and I was severely depressed. I was now the mom of three very athletic teens.   My husband was always on the go too.

Cody was an Eastern Maine Champ in wrestling

Kaitlyn was an incredible soccer player

Zachary was a wrestling State Champ and broke school records in football and track.

I was the overweight, depressed mom who sat on the sidelines because I didn't have the breath to move. Trying to keep up with my family just made me more depressed. I sat on the sidelines pretty much just waiting to die while I watched life pass me by. 

My husband and I fought all of the time. He would make pig noises while I ate which made me hate myself even more.

I fought with everyone, it didn't matter why. I hated everyone behind a smiling face.

In 2012, my mom and I started working out to go on a cruise. I would do anything to get away from my home so I rode my stationery bike like the dogs from hell were after me. I lost weight, I gained it, then I would lose again, but my mindset did not change. 

 I still hated myself and was severely depressed. I didn't have any friends and I didn't want any. I wasn't happy and if I wasn't happy I didn't want anyone else to be.

In May 2014, I was at my lowest. Still depressed, I was gaining all the weight I had lost back and not knowing what to do about it, and unhappy with my life. I would sit on the couch while everyone else watched tv and dream of different ways that I could take my own life. I tried once but that didn't work out.

I was sitting with my computer in front of me, posting nasty thoughts on facebook when I saw a post from Amanda Smith. She had been a teenager at the christian school when I was helping teach in Newport. I couldn't believe the changes that I saw in her. She was no longer over weight. She was no longer unhappy. She was living life and loving it.

I talked to her for a bit about the 21 Day Fix and how it might be able to change my life. Honestly, I thought she was full of it. But I figured I had been on every other diet, what was one more failure? If it didn't work, whatever, I could get my money back.

So, I started the 21 Day Fix on June 1st, and fell in love. I had something to work for. I started noticing differences in my body. I was losing weight, I was losing inches and I was starting to feel good. I lost 6.8 lbs and 12.9 inches. After I completed round 1, I started PiYo on July 6. By the end of July I was in a Sneak Peek into Coaching Group. I couldn't believe that working out was not only changing my body but changing how I was feeling about myself. Could I possibly learn how to love me? Was I worth loving?

I did PiYo from July 6 to September 3^rd. I lost 4.8 lbs and 9.05 inches. Then I did a round of the 3 Day Refresh from August 8 to August 11^th. I lost 4 lbs and 2.1 inches. I did one phase of Chalean Extreme and lost 2.8 lbs and 6.5 inches.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I would let my emotions get the better of me and binge. My numbers didn't always go down. Sometimes they would go up between rounds and I had that much to lose all over again. But I did not and am not going to give up! I am a work in progress and my journey is only beginning.

In 5 months of going up and down I lost 10.8 lbs and 18.2 inches.

The numbers were amazing but I can't tell you how my life was changing in so many other ways. I was becoming more positive, I really was finding me. I was learning that I am worth it and I am lovable.

On August 2^nd I signed up to be a Beach Body Coach. I wanted to share my journey with others and to give them hope. If someone like me, whose past wasn't that pretty, could turn her life around then so could they. I was learning how to deal with my emotions positively and not with binge eating.

Even though I started being a coach for a discount, I soon learned that the best part about helping others was that I was helping myself at the same time. Some of my challengers struggle with the same issues I do. I have met other coaches who have the same background that I do. I learn from them and they learn from me. It is win win.

The best part of coaching is the accountability that I get. I don't want to let my fellow coaches or challengers down so I have to keep working to prove that the product works. I have to keep showing up even on the days when I just want to hide. It is making me a better me and I am grateful for that.

I am married to the love of my life and I can now appreciate him and Me more than I ever could before.  I am so thankful that he stuck by me through all of this.

There is a lot more to my story than I can fit into these words, so if you want to know more than all you have to do is ask. If you want to know how being a challenger in one of my groups or coaching can change your life too, then ask. It doesn't cost anything to ask, right?

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey and for telling you a little bit about mine. I have been blessed beyond words since that fateful May night when I first spoke to Amanda and I am extremely grateful.

My journey is far from over and I am very excited at the prospect of meeting new women along the way. Do you want to be one of them? I am waiting to hear from you. :)

I believed I could, so I did! <3